So the Spring Equinox is happening today.
It’s now the official season of new beginnings—the time when we go outside and make messes in the dirt (or the sand, if you’re here in the Middle East!). The time when we stir up the old in order to grow something completely new.
For me and for many other women, the Equinox is actually our New Year. January is actually a fallow time when our bodies just want to rest rather move forward energetically. By March, the earth’s energy is beginning to rise. And with it, so does ours. It’s the time to dig up the old so we can plant new things in our lives and businesses.
This Equinox in particular, it’s time for me to stir up some of the old things in my past…. so I can grow a completely new aspect of my business and ministry.
Because it’s not just the flowerbed that’s messy this time of year, y’all.
My personal story can be messy, too. (Personal stories usually are.)
And I’ve spent far too much time trying to “sanitize” the parts that people from certain communities might not like.
But first, why the concept of “sanitizing” the “dirt” at all?
Well, if you know much about the marketing and PR industries, they spend a lot of time going over stories and figuring out how to “clean up” the contents so as to get the intended point across without triggering the sensitivities of the intended audience and offending them in some way.
I think that’s how I have lived the past few Spring Equinoxes.
Those you who pay close attention to my posts (which might be no one!!) might have noticed that every year, around this time, I always post working with the natural calendar.
I typically term this “working with biorhythms”—which to me means studying natural cycles in order to have a sane, productive year that follows the shifts of the earth’s energy rather than the rather arbitrary Western calendar. (Because as I noted earlier, according to the natural calendar, January is a really terrible time to start anything!)
Here’s the thing, though. And where it gets back to “dirt:”
I’ve used the term “natural calendar” and “biorhythms” to highlight the experiential nature of this calendar, which farmers the world over have used for thousands of years. I have ALSO used to avoid using another term for this same calendar that might trigger or offend some in my audience:
The astrological calendar.
Yes, I said it.
Which means… yes, I have a healthy working knowledge of astrology. One I hope to continue to grow as time goes by.
I am not only aware of how the astrological calendar follows the patterns of the earth and its energy cycles. But I happily and wholeheartedly use this calendar in my life and business.
Yes, you read that correctly.
I’d like to post more often in future about working with natural energy cycles. About how it leads to so much more peace and momentum, and less frustration, when you work with cycles rather than against them. This is difficult to do without mentioning the nine-letter taboo word I just used that starts with “A.”
I have grown tired of acting like astrology isn’t a thing I keep coming back to again and again.
I have gotten tired of whispering about this “touchy” and “taboo” topic that I have learned a whole different perspective on since undergoing my healing journey.
And I am not alone in discovering that my journey with Jesus was supported by things people in the average church might find “bizarre” (when they’re speaking kindly about it!).
In fact, I have spoken with many Christian women recently who drop their voices to a whisper when they want to tell me about their radical encounter with the Holy Spirit during reiki. Or their miraculous healing of a long-standing disease during a yoga class. Or how certain tenets of astrology have helped them develop a saner relationship with the stress of life and view life as a series of rhythms to be flowed with rather than a linear experience to be hyper-controlled.
I tell them they don’t have to whisper these things to me.
They can speak with a normal voice.
I am a safe place.
I believe their stories, because I experienced these same phenomenon myself. And I also spent far too many years dropping my own voice to a whisper.
In fact, I am actually a more devoted follower of Jesus today because of the aspects of yoga, astrology, and Ayurvedic medicine that played a big role in my healing journey. I live with incredible awe for the “unseen intuitive world” that God created that for many years, I did not even believe existed. And I am grateful that He still worked through these methods… even before I had ever set foot in a church that had a “healing and deliverance ministry.”
It’s a little bit more bizarre than that, even.
When I became the most committed to receiving my healing—these above-mentioned “questionable” sources were the very sources God kept bringing back in front of me. He guided me to information that I had not gotten in church or from my doctor. And I believe He did so because He knew He was sending me on a totally different journey.
It was that information that unlocked aspects of Scriptural teaching I had never understood, and ultimately led to my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual liberation.
A few cases in point:
Finding Jesus in… yoga
In a yoga class, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I had a very old emotional wound I had that had caused life-altering digestive distress (typically known as IBS) for more than a year. Literally, I was holding the emotions in my gut and it was affecting my ability to eat properly!
When I receive this insight, I was healed instantly and dramatically while there sweating on that mat. Since then, I have eaten whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. And yes, I still practice yoga several days per week.
I credit the Holy Spirit for that healing. So why did it happen on a yoga mat? I don’t have an answer for you, but here are my thoughts: research has shown that our muscle tissue stores emotional memory (ie: our issues are in our tissues). The type of movement I was doing in that class that day probably stimulated the right physical conditions for me to be emotionally open to what the Holy Spirit was saying release this emotional block from my physical body.
But y’all, let’s be honest. I still got healed on a yoga mat, not in a healing line at a charismatic church.
Finding Jesus in… astrology
After God spoke to me the first time, telling me that I did not know how to receive love, I became instantly attuned to the lunar cycle—which I knew little about before—and began to notice how that cycle was affecting the energy and emotions of people around me.
Every time after that, when I would come across something about the “astrological forecast” for that season, the description exactly matched what I was intuiting energetically. It got to the point that the connections were so so uncanny, I could not ignore them any longer.
Additionally, on two separate occasions, two gifted astrologers (who, by the way, were not “fortune tellers” but who would also not claim to share my beliefs about Jesus or the Bible), gave me strong words about my destiny.
In both instances, God strictly told me that I was to write down and remember those words—because they had been given to me for a reason, even though the person speaking was not a follower of the same path.
In both cases, the words were some of the most powerful I ever received… much more on-point than most “prophetic words” I’ve been given in church… and are literally unfolding as we speak.
Finding Jesus in… Ayurvedic medicine
When I asked God to show me how to heal my body from the pervasive effects of stress, He led me consistently to chakra-based teachings on how different parts of the emotional and spiritual body map to different areas of the physical body. Based on the chakras, Ayurvedic medicine recommends what foods to eat, what movements to do, and what truth to fill my mind with, in order to be healed holistically in those areas.
I tried going to a Western doctor… but it quickly became obvious that said doctors had no idea how to get to the intuitive root of the issue. They could only address my symptoms. They treated my physical pain as a purely physical issue—not as a manifestation of the emotional, mental and spiritual roots.
I used guidance from the Ayurvedic system for my eating plan, my yoga and exercise plan, and to inform the topics of the passages of Scripture I would select for daily devotions/Bible reading. In each case, consistent application of the these recommendations led to dramatic healing at all levels of my life.
I became (and remain) and avid proponent of the idea that mental, emotional and spiritual pain must be addressed in order to heal the body.
Finding Jesus in… energy healing
When I realized I needed to heal my relationship with money, God did not send me to a church money seminar. He put a number of energy healers in my path who opened up for me a lot of understand about how neuroscience and our dominant emotions clash with the “energy” of money. This clash cause us to end up stuck in lack or in unhealthy spending patterns.
It was THIS teaching… not any behavioristic budgeting methods or analytical teaching on wealth strategies… that helped me to identify demonic strongholds in my life around abundance, wealth and money that were keeping me impoverished and small.
The teachings can be Biblically supported… but because no one in any of the churches I attended taught money from this intuitive-emotional perspective, I never received healing for my most deeply-rooted money blocks within the church context.
Once again, God brought me tremendous healing and freedom through “unorthodox” methods.
Finding Jesus in… meditation
And finally… when I began to study teaching eastern meditation and practices for becoming deeply present in the NOW, I actually, finally was able to dissociate myself from the running narrative of past trauma and future anxiety… and sit in deep bliss in this moment with God.
Honestly, I have never yet heard a pastor correctly explain “eastern meditation” (as it’s usually termed in church) or accurately represent its aim or scope. The point of these practices are not simply to empty your mind so you are susceptible to influence, but to quiet the “chattering monkey” of your unconscious thinking patterns, so you can actually think clearly. (Something most Christian women I meet tell me they have a lot of trouble doing!)
The more I practice being present in the moment by quieting my mind—the more I am able to live in a total absence of fear, shame and doubt. And the more I am able to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit above the “noise.” I’m convinced that many of these meditation teachings ought to be standard-issue curriculum in schools to help children learn to “wash their minds” to ward off fear just as we teach them to wash their hands to ward off germs.
I could go on from here. But time is short, and this post is getting long.
My point is this: for me to continue to “sanitize” the tremendous impact of teachings on topics like natural rhythms, energy healing, and meditation on my healing journey would be to literally ignore the journey itself.
I cannot give you an explanation for why it happened this way. It simply did.
Many people in churches ask me how I received such radical healing in areas of my life that some people struggle with for decades.
I tell them, #1, it’s totally God. I was guided by Him for three years in the wilderness and healed by His voice alone. I never went into a healing line at a church (because I didn’t know such things existed at the time!) and I never went through systematic Christian counseling. God literally took me through that process Himself.
But #2, the honest #truth is that more often than not, when God did put people in my path to help, He sent me to teachers that most people in my church would consider false… to help me delve into the depth and roots of things that the Bible absolutely does address, but which are not being addressed in full depth in church.
People often don’t like hearing this.
Often, sadly, it is individuals who are struggling with the very thing themselves that a particular intuitive modality is designed to help.
A classic example I often see is a woman who lives in chronic pain. I suggest that she take up a certain yoga regiment (isometric exercise) that has helped numerous women live without pain altogether… but she tells me she cannot, because yoga is the worship of a false god.
Instead, this woman prefers instead to live in bondage to addictive “legalized narcotics,” which she is given by her Western doctor who is an avowed atheist.
You can imagine… in those moments, I wonder… does God prefer this woman live in bondage to pain? Or would He desire her to be healed… through the concept of isometric exercise, which He no doubt invented?
My point in telling you all this is not to judge those individuals. OR to persuade you that my point of view is superior. I do understand how crazy it sounds!
But I also want to point out that sometimes, when we “shoot at” these methods… we might be unaware that our own “rational” choices of healing modality reflect little trust in the healing power of God.
Ultimately, I cannot ignore the journey God took me on, or be silent about it any longer.
That being said, please understand that I am NOT advocating that you start reading your horoscope, run out for a monthly tarot card reading, or join a Buddhist monastery. Please hear me on this.
I never ask my clients to do something they’re uncomfortable with. And while I share the journey I’ve been on… yes, some of my clients do think this part of my story is totally cuckoo.
What I AM suggesting is that perhaps, in throwing out anything that we cannot full understand according to Western science… like the concept of energy, the natural rhythms of the earth and planets, intuition and presence, holistic healing modalities, etc… we have actually limited God in His capacity to create, heal, and nurture the universe.
You see, until the Enlightenment, it was very common in Christian circles to see these intuitive arts as a science.
For example, gifted physicians who loved God with all their hearts used crystals as part of their healing modalities because they believed that God had placed healing properties in all materials of the earth. Ailments were believed to have spiritual causes. Practices of stillness and silence were common in the church.
Was some of this superstitious and not effective? Yes.
But there was probably a lot of truth that got thrown out as well. Mostly at the time of the Reformation, and then the Enlightenment.
At this time, anything intuitive was discredited, and rational science practically became god itself. Holistic healing modalities (still more common in the East) got traded in for a Western medical practice that (until recently) has divorced the care of the body from the care of the mind and spirit.
Change is coming in this area… but it will hit the church slower than it has/will to general society.
Modern science is hugely important, and we’re blessed to have it! But perhaps it’s not going to show us everything God has created… Because not everything God has created can be seen or measured.
Some of God’s creation (like energy) can only be felt, and recognized afterward by its impact rather than its substance.
To throw out wisdom others have discovered in the more natural and intuitive realms—simply because those individuals do not know or follow Jesus, seems rather foolish. (This approach also means we’d have to disavow the discoveries of any atheist or agnostic scientists or doctors… of which, of course, there are quite a few!)
Bottom line: I believe that if God can speak through Balaam’s donkey to get a human being’s attention, He can use any method He wishes.
He certainly got my attention with methods and channels that seemed almost as incredulous as a talking mammal, at times.
And He did so in the complete absence of a local charismatic church with a healing ministry, or access to any kind of pastor or teacher to pray over me and “release me from bondage.”
Today I am incredibly, deeply grateful to walk free of fear and bondage today because of how God chose to work.
So on the Spring Equinox, I’m sharing all of this with you…
Not to convince you to believe my story if you are happening to feel highly triggered by it, or doubtful of its validity. That’s totally cool and fine. You can tell me you don’t buy it or like it, or that you think I need deliverance from the healing team at church, and I’ll listen to you. Honestly.
I’m actually sharing this, though, for all of you out there who have had a similar experience, and have wrestled hard with it.
Or those of you who have had someone else shut down your voice and your story because “Well, God wouldn’t possibly work that way.”
You are not alone.
There is a growing contingent of other beautiful, radiant, committed Christian women who are gifted in the intuitive arts…
And are now reclaiming space within those arts for the God who created all the invisible planetary cycles, the energy, and the intricacies of the mind-body connection.
If we really want to think God’s thoughts after Him, then perhaps we have to accept that maybe some of His thoughts… just really are far-out.
I want to be clear: nothing is a substitute for the power of the Holy Spirit to transform our lives.
But nothing is also outside of His mighty purview as a tool for His use.
Let’s face it… when God wanted the world to know about His Son’s arrival… he DID hang a giant astrological sign in the sky and designate a band of desert astrologers the first to know! 😉
Happy Equinox to one and all! If this post has resonated with you in any way, please reach out.
I’d love to start my New Year off with hearing from you!