Self-Love Is Not the Key to Achieving Your Dreams. Here’s Why.


If you want to achieve your Biggest Dreams and heart’s desires … you’ve got to start by believing you’re lovable and worthy of having what you want.

It sounds simple, but often we stall ourselves on getting what we want when we’re not sure we deserve what we want.

Cultivating self-love and self-worth is a critical foundation to receiving the life we’ve imagined. But they can also be incredibly elusive in our lives as women. 

We’re never skinny enough, smart enough or funny enough to catch the eye of the kind of guy we want. (Or so we think.) 

We’re too unsure of our desires, or too overloaded with ideas, to pick one creative project and stick with it, creating something we’re really proud to share with the world. (Or so we think.)

Money is just too hard to get, and we don’t have enough education, experience or skills to get as much as we want in a career or business. (Or so we think.)

We scroll Instagram watching other women cross off items on their bucket list and travel to exotic locales that are out-of-reach for us. (Or so we think.)

Are you sensing the theme here?

Until we are 100% convinced in our souls that we deserve what we desire, we won’t be able to attract it. Or keep it.

Or if we somehow do, we’ll subconsciously sabotage ourselves by clamming up, acting out, eating our feelings, or inserting so many subtle delays in the process that our desire gives up, fades out or simply disappears. 

But you can’t just manufacture self-love—or self-worth—out of nowhere.

Especially not when the running commentary in your head always defaults to a negative viewpoint on the Subject Of You. When we’re focused on surviving the conflict within, rather than thriving.

What you really need is a fast-track to Self-Love and Self-Worth. And fortunately, God knew that already.

You see, on your own, you’ll never be able to conjure up enough good juju toward yourself. You’ll never have the strength to overcome all that negativity—forever. You’ll never be able to experience the complete and total victory over self-condemnation and self-loathing that are totally possible. 

That’s where God’s Love comes in. 

The key to developing Self-Love and Self-Worth is not to rely on yourself to magically create these feelings and beliefs about yourself you can’t seem to muster. It’s to see what God, your creator, says about you—and choose to accept and bask in that love first. 


When you take your cues from God said about you … and not what your brain says about yourself … you don’t have to have all that strength yourself. 

Think about it. What you really want is someone else to love you. And tell you how awesome you are. And accept you. And want you. You want someone else to validate your worth. 

And all those self-help people tell you, “You can’t give to others what you aren’t giving to yourself.”

So you try to love yourself. And it’s really hard. And you don’t feel it. And it seems pointless and hopeless. 

But what if you’re actually right …. and they’re wrong? What if you do really need someone else to validate you? And it’s totally okay to need and want that?

God has already declared your identity and your worth. He has already said that He’s enough for you when you don’t feel it. 

The battle that really matters is not the battle for you to start loving yourself and feeling worthy. It’s about you agreeing with God and retraining your thinking to reflect what HE has already said. 

A poet thousands of years ago put it this way:

“15 You [God] … formed every bone in my body
when you created me in the secret place,
carefully, skillfully shaping me from nothing to something.

16 You saw who you created me to be before I became me!
Before I’d ever seen the light of day,
the number of days you planned for me
were already recorded in your book.

17–18 Every single moment you [God] are thinking of me!
How precious and wonderful to consider
that you cherish me constantly in your every thought!
O God, your desires toward me are more
than the grains of sand on every shore!”

— From Psalm 139 (The Passion Translation)

That’s just one of many Scriptures that reflect God’s beautiful heart toward each one of us.

If God has more desires for you than the grains of sand on the shore … imagine how much He loves you!

Just as a healthy, caring parent has deep desires for good for their child, so God does for you. 

What might happen if you learned to totally rest in God’s view of you … and stopped needing to “fix” your view of yourself? 

What might happen if you decided to receive love from God, and let that love completely transform your view of yourself? 

What might happen if you decided to let God’s view of you determine your worth? (He says you are priceless!) And then act from that sense of worth rather than from some self-worth you’re trying to manufacture?

Switching from your own attempts to manufacture self-love, to resting in God’s love, requires you to completely switch the operating system of your mind.

You will have to retrain your brain to think in a whole new way —  literally create new neural pathways — but when you do, WOW the results are incredible!!!!

I teach a series of simple strategies to retrain your brain to operate from God’s perfect, never-ending, consistent love rather than from your own self-loathing, or your uneven attempts at self-love.

The switch is worth making. Because self-love is hard work. It’s hit-or-miss. And it can be difficult to sustain. 

What if you didn’t have to do the hard work of loving yourself after all?

With God, you never really have to do the hard work. 

Feeling loved and worthy are critical to receiving your Big Dreams and desires … but you don’t have to cross these hurdles alone. The longer and harder you try to do it on your own, the more exhausted and frustrated you will feel. 

Let God’s love carry you to places you could never carry yourself. 


How do you feel as you read this? What is your experience with self-worth and self-love? Comment below.

Reach me directly at my contact page, or …

Click here to schedule a FREE 1:1 Strategy Session with me.


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